The “Don’t Say Gay” Bill
There is nothing more important than to be truly seen, to feel understood and know there is place for us in this world. When we feel this way, we are able to navigate our path in this world and make a difference.
Just as I thought we were moving in a direction of seeing people more clearly and making more space for them in the world of sexuality, multiple states are going back in time and pulling the rug out for many. Legislation is being created that will do harm and close the door on individuals in the LGBTQIA+ community from being seen.
You may have seen the news where states including Tennessee, Texas, Florida, South Dakota are creating bills that are taking away rights in a scary way. Other states may follow. One of these bills in Florida has been coined the “Don’t Say Gay” bill.
According to the World Health Organization, one of the rights for defining what it means to have sexual health and wellness is “The rights to information, as well as education.”
These states are purposely withholding rights from all individuals, not just those in the LGBTQIA+ community. All of us need to learn and understand the nuances in sexuality — how sexuality works and functions in our lives. Statistically, states that concentrate solely on abstinence only education, purity culture, and alienate varying sexualities from others, are also the states with the highest rates of unplanned pregnancies and STIs. Information is power and a right. By not providing this information and taking legal action on those who do, society becomes more stratified and those at the bottom are further judged, oppressed and not seen.
Our country was founded on the right to be free from religious prosecution, but in our modern times it seems religion is being misused, then shoved down the throats of people, leaving them gasping for air and dismissing God altogether — how effective.
I am a Christian woman and am disappointed and angry with religion being used to enforce a society that represents one way of living and using dominance through politics to achieve this. The main teachings of Christianity is “Love they neighbor as thyself.” When we exclude education and or take rights away from simply living into your truth, this is not loving.
Many believe that LGBTQIA+ conversations do not belong in schools because “they are too political and not age appropriate.” What is not age appropriate about living into who you really are? What is political about speaking your truth when even as an 8 year old, you know the gender assigned at birth is not the gender you are meant to be? This is not political. Political would be a discussion about raising wages for teachers, ensuring all students have access to equal and fair education with supplies and similar experiences, to feel safe within the walls of school, to make sure that all of our history is being taught as it happened. That’s political. Children at their core are much more open and accepting to others and understand gender identity and orientation more than most adults.
Parents say, “If you teach them about sex, they are going to want to have sex.” Learning about something doesn’t mean that your child will do that thing or become that thing. I was taught chemistry and I didn’t become a chemist. We are born sexual beings and we all express that differently. At some point, they may want to have sex, but not because you talked about it. In fact, it has been proven time and time again that when we talk about sex with our kids in an age appropriate way, it actually delays them having sex until they are ready for it.
Understanding orientation and gender identity helps all people better understand the nature of sexuality and builds empathy. For those whose orientation may be something other than straight, it means they are seen. For those who identify as gender fluid, non-binary or trans, it means they are seen. Removing education and rights does not stop a person from being gay or trans, it just tells people, “you can’t be you.”
When it comes to sexuality, it is so very personal and hard to talk about for many reasons. If we hear something about sexuality or gender that is not our own truth, we can feel hurt and unseen. We build walls and reinforce them over time to protect ourselves. Even people who consider themselves cis-gender and straight have vast differences in their sexuality — different things that turn them on, they may only want sex one way, or only want sex once a month. There is not one way of sexually being, but we are all sexual beings. The continuous denial of rights to our LGBTQIA+ siblings promotes division, a power based societal hierarchy, and entire groups of people to not be seen. Laws created under the guise of religion and persecution will not change people, but equal education and acknowledgement of our diversity will move us towards a healthier society for all people to have the opportunity to operate at their best by living who they are.