Seen

Have you ever experienced what it was like to be truly seen? A time when a person or community saw you for who you are? They saw your heart, potential, intellect, intentions, including your misgivings and you were held in a space that honored each of those. That feeling is one of the best feelings that can be out there. When I have felt that way my body expands and fills the space around me, allowing me to live in the air of acknowledgment and acceptance. It’s as though the universe sings out and shows me that my existence was well thought out and that moment was a time stamp of indication. It’s a sensation of being out of this world, yet fully rooted in the soil of humanity and creation, similar some may say to when we orgasm. It’s important and necessary for us to feel those things. It is something we wish we could feel each day, from the moment we step into our house to every time we step out of our house.

A throbbing pain is cutting through the arteries of our country right now because too many people are not being seen. For centuries, black and brown people have been looked past, dishonored, had their lives cut short, and were denied the rights that everybody deserves. For too long white bodies have been walking around clothed in myths and lies that were created to give a false sense of worth and power. Why and how this happened still baffles me. We are humans. We know that we are all made up of flesh, blood, and bone. Our insides are the same. We are all created from egg and sperm. We all grow inside a uterus and we are all born from the pains and the screams of womxn. Nothing is different. So, what changes?

Many fight for the lives of those living inside a uterus. These lives matter and are fought for with great urgency, but somehow in the process of coming through the birth canal they are seen and cast differently. Inside the uterus they are cells that create a sense of hope magnifying the mysteries of life. Somehow, this view shifts upon their arrival. Is it because they are now only seen for their sex, color, and wealth? The deck they were dealt starts to play out. It doesn’t make sense and it needs to stop.

Have you ever experienced what it was like to not be seen? You were overlooked, cast aside, your intentions were questioned, assumptions were made, or you were forgotten. It feels shitty – there is no other way to really say that. It hurts. It rips a hole deep within your heart and it feels as though you may not recover. I know it is hard for me to recover, I can’t imagine what that feels like every day based on skin color, something you have no control over, something that shouldn’t be given a rank. White people, we need to shed the lies we have been bathed in since birth. Our worth should not be determined by skin color, heritage, identity, sex, wealth, orientation, or ability. Our value should come from the fact we are human beings who have the ability to love and connect.

There have been many times when I have not truly seen a person, when I was silent or wrong. I need to do better. As a sexual health educator, I see how important it is to be truly seen in order to have deep and fulfilling relationships. We thrive when we truly see one another and I think that is what everyone wants. To become the best we can be, we need to see one another without the labels and fears from those who came before us.